How to: Cook Human Meat

In the dark, bleak and uncompromising post-apocalyptic future of Follow The Crows, there aren't many luxuries in life. The likelihood of coming across a friendly face is slim, you're probably not going to find your soul mate, and I doubt anyone is going to be opening a Chinese takeaway any time soon, so you have to make do with you can get.

For those who don't want to eat crow, rabbit and other game, there's always a nice, tasty, juicy human to sink your teeth into. But even human flesh needs cooking and seasoning. So, if you ever find yourself caught out in the wasteland with nothing to eat, and you manage to catch yourself a tasty person, here's a guide to cooking them. Just remember to try and ignore the pleas for help.

Equipment:

• Camp-fire 
• Rotisserie
• Knife or Blade
• Bowl or Pan

Ingredients:

• 1 tablespoon ground cumin 
• 1 tablespoon paprika 
• 1 tablespoon turmeric
• 2 teaspoons ground cardamom 
• 1 tablespoon kosher salt 
• 2 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper 
• 1 fresh human corpse (bled out) 

How to Cook:

Assuming that you have caught your victim and let them bleed out (slice up along the veins on bot arms and hang the body upside down), first prepare a camp-fire and ensure to let it burn down to white hot coals (ensure that the fire is smokeless, you don't want to attract the attention of other survivors).

While waiting for the fire to burn down and the coals to whiten set up your rotisserie and, once the fire is ready, place it about 15 to 18 inches over the coals (important note: one inch is roughly the same as the measure from your thumb tip to the top knuckle of your thumb.

In a small bowl or pan combine the cumin, paprika, turmeric, cardamom, salt and pepper. Mix the ingredients together until they are indistinguishable from one another in a blend.

Next, slice the flesh from your victim's thigh (or bicep, depending on what you fancy) and rub the meat on all sides with the spice mixture.

Mount the flesh on the rotisserie and cook, turning slowly and constantly, for about 1 to 2 hours (be sure to take note of where the sun is when you begin to make keeping time easier). Don't forget to add small logs and wood to the fire in order to maintain the heat during the cooking; and make sure the human flesh doesn't come into contact with the flames. 

Once the flesh has turned a grayish color (like that of lamb or veal) it is done, so remove it from the rotisserie and let it rest for roughly 10 minutes before eating. Be sure to cook off all the flesh and meat you can to stop it from rotting and turning bad, and make sure you save some for later, you never know when you're going to get another meal.

Vegetarian Option:

There's plenty of grass on the ground. If that doesn't suit you try tree bark. It's the apocalypse, get a grip!